December 2024 Founder’s Corner: The Holiday Season: A Bittersweet Symphony

As the year tilts towards its closing chapters and the holiday season arrives, an almost magical transformation occurs. Streets light up with twinkling decorations, the air grows crisp with winter’s chill, and a familiar, cozy warmth hovers in homes. Yet, amidst this festive cheer, a more complex emotion often takes hold — nostalgia.

Nostalgia, a sentimental longing for the past, is at its most poignant during the holidays. It’s that aching sweetness that accompanies fond memories of childhood, reunions, and warmth from times gone by. It’s sparked by everything from the scent of mulled wine to the strains of a classic holiday tune. Each nostalgic moment is like a snow globe scene, perfect and irreplaceable. But why does this emotion bewitch us so powerfully, and why can it so often feel bittersweet? 

A term initially coined by 17th-century medical student, Johannes Hofer, the term nostalgia was created to identify the psychological and physical symptoms observed in Swiss soldiers stationed far from home. This concept made sense to me earlier this week as I was listening to Christmas music. I was entangled in a string of lights and clumsily fumbling with what can only be described as a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, when the song, “I’ll be home for Christmas” piped into the candle-scented room, and Bing Crosby’s classic voice sang of ‘coming home’, “even if only in my dreams”. Though the song had me singing along, I could not help but pause with reflection around the lyrics that invited a sense of longing, especially during an era of war and hardship. This had me thinking about Christmas as a calamity of both joy and suffering, and a sense of presence tethered to times long since gone.

One does not have to be stationed overseas to feel the war of emotions that can bubble up within the twinkling beauty of the season. This is because change is consistently a part of our lives. What might have been a joyous holiday season in earlier years, might today bring an array of emotions pushing south of joy, and more potentially toward longing, disappointment, sadness or even loneliness. Considering the holiday season is meant to be time of togetherness and family traditions, life can alter many of these constants. Children have grown. Families may have separated. Loved ones have since passed away. Who will be missing at the family table? Who will be outright alone? These experiences, and many more like them, can make the holiday season difficult to process. This is the crux of nostalgia’s bittersweet nature: the joy of reliving good memories interwoven with the pangs of their absence in the present. The holidays, then, can become a reflective mirror of what once was — often prompting an emotional journey both cherished and mourned.

Understanding nostalgia’s dual nature can help in navigating these complex feelings. While nostalgia reminds us of precious experiences, it also offers an opportunity to connect with those memories in meaningful ways. Instead of being trapped in longing for the past, one can approach nostalgia as a chance to craft and create new traditions and fond memories. Here are some strategies to positively engage with nostalgia during the holiday season:

Embrace the Memories

Acknowledge the emotion. Nostalgia arises as a reminder of happy times. Engaging with old photos, letters, or homemade decorations can be a way to celebrate past experiences. Allow yourself to conjure these memories, reliving the feelings they evoke.

Create New Traditions

While it’s comforting to hold on to old traditions, creating new ones can be equally fulfilling. Invite friends over to make holiday recipes with a fresh twist or start an annual holiday outing. This offers a way to cherish the experiences you held dear, while making room for new happiness.

Reach Out

The holiday period is a time to connect. Reopen channels with old friends or relatives. Whether it’s by sending a thoughtful card or arranging a virtual gathering, these efforts can reaffirm bonds and create warmth. However, feel empowered to set boundaries so outreach doesn’t feel like an obligation.

Practice Gratitude

Reflect on the positives. Keep a gratitude journal or have a “thankful list” by the end of each day, focusing not only on past joys but present blessings. This act of mindfulness can balance the tendency to dwell solely on what has been lost or changed.

Volunteer or Give Back

There is an innate reward in acts of kindness, and the holidays provide perfect opportunities for giving. Whether you volunteer your time, donate, or even just help a neighbor, knowing you have positively impacted someone else’s holiday can bring immense personal joy.

Allow Yourself to Feel

Permit yourself moments to feel the void that certain changes bring. Whether it’s reminiscing about a lost loved one or past joys, recognizing the legitimacy of these emotions can promote personal growth.

Embracing the spirit of nostalgia does not mean one should live in the past; rather, it’s about cherishing it while being open to the potential present joys. As the holiday season unfolds with its expected cadence of joy and quiet introspection, seeing nostalgia as both a bridge to the past and a foundation for future happiness could add a fuller, more textured comfort to the festivities. After all, the ephemeral nature of holiday moments is precisely what makes them precious — both then and now. 

I am with you, precious one. We are in our shared way, together, interwoven within the complex layers of experiences. This season, may you find peace in small moments and take refuge from pain knowing you are held within a shared sense of belonging, knitted to struggle and yet soften in knowing you are in the company of so many others navigating the bittersweetness of this classical time.